Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

"I've never wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Britney Spears

"Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

 The metal backs of iPods are made from recycled zippers.

For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Men whistling

Why do men whistle when they`re sitting on the toilet?Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe...

Not cheap

I`m not cheap, but I am on special this week!...

Astronaut

What do you call a man who doesn`t cheat on his wife when he is away on business?An astronaut!

Playboy special

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married...

Chicken in the band

Question: Why did they let the chicken join the band? Answer: Because he had His own drumsticks!...